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Tuesday, July 21, 2009

missing

Summer is rapidly drawing to a close here - the kids are back to school in just 2 weeks - hard to believe. I hardly have a minute to sit down each day - 5 kids keep you hopping let me tell you! and then we have had the great room rearrange over the last month - we acquired 2 sets of bunk beds and desks and have been working on the kids rooms and realized we needed a bigger dining room table . . . and so on. So between all of that stuff and the swimming pool, and AJ getting his drivers license (Thank GOD) and a trip to SantaFe and the Sand Dunes we have been swamped,

BUT still it feels like something is missing - like 2 little someones are missing. I look up at the pool to count heads and think there should be 2 more, the kids run screaming through the sprinkler and there aren't quite enough of them. We go for ice cream cones and the bill isn't quite high enough . . someone wrote on the big Yahoo group for ET adoptions - that it doesn't matter whether you are adding your first child, your fourth, or your seventh and eighth the ache to see them, to hold them, to wipe away their tears, to laugh with them, to discover what makes them smile all of those things it is just as strong, just as desperate, just as intense. Last year when we were waiting for Becca we knew she was clueless - she was still so little, but still we worried and fretted (well I fretted, Scott worried) - but this time they are so much older, so much more aware - I'm telling you it makes the time grind by as I worry/fret as I grow anxious for any movement forward - just to know our paperwork made it to ET to be translated would be good to know - to know we were submitted to court (which I really shouldn't expect until OCT!!!) would have me dancing over the moon - never mind to pass court - sigh. Please Lord let your timing be soon - let us not miss much more of these kids lives, let us tuck them in soon, let us wipe their tears soon, let us laugh together, cry together, and grow together soon.