I realize that it has been forever since I updated this poor blog - life with 7 kids at home and the start of school has been over the top busy... really I had no idea how easy life with just 5 kids was!
So we have had a total miracle here - if you had been to my house in June or July you would have committed to much prayer on our behalf as things were not going very smoothly with Alem (who we have renamed Sarah - but that is a different story). She was having meltdown after meltdown and the level of rage she was exhibiting was only increasing. There would be periods of calm but they were all marked by extreme manipulation on her part trying to get her way or a reward or what ever. I can honestly tell you that it was beyond anything we had ever expected to deal with - we didn't go into this with our eyes closed - but what we were living with was beyond hard. Therapy was hard - actually harder than hard some days... when she would rage at therapy there were times I despaired of actually being able to get her home, as in would she really get in the car or not?? Finally in the end of July we simply had to decide that parenting her wasn't going to steal the joy we had in our other children - we weren't going to let her behaviors rob the others of a fun time with Mom or Dad. And I had to let go of the idea that suddenly she would be healed that her behaviors would be fixed that her heart would be whole. The trauma from her earlier life was totally driving her behavior and apart from God acting on her behalf we were doing all we could for her... and the other kids needed attention too.
And then the miracle happened... one day she just stopped fighting us - stopped fighting the feelings of love and acceptance and started to press into them, seeking love and acceptance, talking about her big feelings instead of trying to punish us all for them. Almost over night she settled down to normal - just a normal little girl with normal little girl hurts and upsets, and some really big ones too - but now she trusts us with them and by doing so we are able to help her to be more regulated in her feelings and understanding. There is alot of pain, abuse and betrayal in her story... surviving it is a miracle in and of itself - but reaching the point of emotional healing - well no one but the Father could have orchestrated it. These last 8 months with her have been harder than I could ever have imagined - but what we see in her today is more beautiful that we could have imagined... truly He gives beauty for ashes and strength for fear.
I know that God moved on her behalf and I praise Him for it... but the fertile ground of prayer and all the work we did with her paved the way. I will try and write about some of the strategies that worked for us... but if you are in the middle of the battle and want advice or someone to pray for you - leave a comment (I won't post it - but would be happy to chat about it).
For those of you who have stormed heaven on our behalf - thank you, from the bottom of my heart thank you... I cannot wait to meet some of you in heaven (if not before) so that you can see what your prayers have wrought on our behalf - a beautiful, and healed, daugter of the King.