Frday

Okay - after much harrassing on my part our agency has told us that Estifaons case will be heard again in court on Friday (Thurs night here). Reportedly his uncle will be able to attend and everything is in order for him to pass. The journey to these kids has had more road bumps than I ever imagined but hopefully this is the point where the road smooths out before us.

Pray with us that his uncle is able to show up and that truely every piece of paper is there and that the judge looks with favor on our case, and of course that there is electricity in the building.

And pray our good news comes early Friday so I don't wear out the refresh button checking my email like a crazy woman!!!

Wise Men and adoption

So the wise men saw a star in the east and knew it would lead them to a king - of course they probably weren't thinking a baby but never the less. The thing is that they were looking, looking and perhaps longing for something more - something that would give thier lives greater meaning, something to sacrifice for.



They journeyed far - probably farther than they ever imagined. With great sacrifice and hardship along the way - leaving the familiar comfortable life in thier home country and traveling for what may have been years. (by camel no less - by the way camels stink)



Then they were surprised at the manger - overwhelmed I am sure by the rustic simplicity of it - by the baby/small child they encountered - by the God that they encountered.



We start an adoption journey seeing that star in the distance.



The journey takes us farther than we imagine - out of our comfort zone, through valleys we never knew existed, testing and refining us every step of the way.



Then we are surprised at the manger - with a love for our children that is built by going the distance required to get them. And we find that we would sacrifice anything - gold, frankensence and myrrh to have them home - they are more precious than the physical or emotional cost of the journey.



That journey to the manger shaped the wisemen and it shapes adoptive families as well. May we all journey with grace and wisdom moving foward to the manger.

The end of my rope

Alrighty then - we finally heard from Erin today and apparently the courts closed on Friday for a week. I'm totally having a difficult time believing that on Thursday when our case was to be heard again no one mentioned that the courts would be closed for the next week - but that is what we are being told now. We don't have any idea when they are going to hear the case again or what his uncle can do about attending. Seriously can anything else go wrong?? Oh yes it can because in 2 weeks (a little less) it is ET Christmas and then the celebration of the Epiphany (Timkat) so I am sure that the courts and gov't offices will be closed more than they are open.

And right now they are saying the best we can expect for Alemtsehaye is possibly a Jan 27 embassy date but more likely is Feb 10 - ummm hello it was supposed to be Dec 2 and now we are talking more than 2 months later and Estifanos even later than that - Oy!

I am completly a mess.

Heartbroken

No, not what you are thinking - we haven't heard anything yet this morning.

But ...... often we talk about having our hearts broken for the orphan - recently I was pondering that. Actually what happened was we were watching Evan Almighty and there is a scene where God is talking to the mom and says if someone prays for patience does God give them patience or opportunities to become patient. Hmmmm. If someone prays for the plight of the orphan and asks God for his heart for the orphan, does God magically give them that heart, that feeling or opportunities to become broken or hurt for the orphan? You see we have had one stumbling block after another on the way to our son - in fact a few weeks after signing the referral papers we weren't sure we would be able to adopt him at all, obviously things worked out - but it was a tough couple of days and it made us realize excatly how much we really wanted him for our son, how committed we were to him. And now every step of the way our hearts are broken over each and every delay and we wonder what in the world God is doing. And perhaps He wonders what in the world we are doing allowing all these children to grow up in orphanages needing and wanting parents who never answer the call to adopt. You see adoption isn't only about the parents need/desire to parent - but even more so it is about the child's need/ desire for a family. Each and every child deserves to be special to someone - a mom and a dad. And that is what being heartbroken is about - about knowing there are millions of orphans that will never find a mom and a dad because God's people are not answering the call.

No news

Many thanks to all of you for your sweet emails - but no news today. Supposedly they were trying again (since Christmas in ET isn't for a bit yet). Hopefully we will hear in the morning.

And Merry Christmas to all.

Not today.

Not surprisingly we didn't pass today either. His uncle was unable to attend.

Ugh. failed again

Well I don't even know what to say. Estifanos case failed again. This time because our agency didn't ask his uncle to come to court. Apparently the uncle came the last 2 times but they didn't think he needed to come again. And apparently the judge did. They are going to try again tomorrow.

This is like a never ending nightmare of hope and disappointment - I don't even want to get my hopes up for tomorrow because honestly who knows what will be required next. It is like someone keeps moving the target in front of us.

Thank you all for praying - and if you could pray with us one more time....

One more day

One more day until Estifanos' 3rd try at court. Never in a million years did I think it would take so many tries. We have been assured that his file is complete and ready to go. Please pray with us that the courts will be open and working tomorrow and that the judge will be healthy and ready to work. Lord we are ready - may your will be done. (Hey folks - pray tonight as you are going to bed since Ethiopia is 10 hours ahead of us!!)

No word yet on Alemtsehayes court decree - it has been 2 months for something that should have taken 2 weeks.

God knew

It is amazing really - totally amazing. This morning I am lying in bed praying (cause miracle of miracles the little on is still sleeping) and boy oh boy did God preach me a sermon.

From the beginning of time God knew - He knew when Adam and Eve left the garden, He knew Abraham and Noah and Moses and David and all the prophets. He knew the exact moment that He would enter time and be born - in a messy dirty icky manger to a teen age girl who had the courage to say yes. He knew.

From the beginning of my life God knew that this moment was arriving. When I prayed and asked for His heart for the orphan - He knew that it would break me - that it would lead me closer to Him than ever before. God's heart breaks for the orphan too - but He gets to see it all from eternity after the victory is won and I don't. It isn't that I don't know that ultimately the forces of God win, I sure do! but rather that I am sorely limited in my ability to integrate that with my life day to day. The thing is that God knew this adoption would break my heart, would send me to tears on a regualar basis (my poor husband), God knew how hard it would be for me to have 2 kids on the other side of the world who are alone and lonely who desperately need a mom and a dad. And still God chose this for me. This path has been hard to walk - but there have been many blessings along the way - friends who really get it, folks who I have not met in real life but who none the less have covenanted to pray for us daily until the kids pass court and the paperwork starts to come in, a closer dependance on God for daily living a deeper knowledge of the blessing of children in our lives.

God knew. and God knows the day that they will come home. I hope and pray that this week is the week that her paperwork begins to come in, I hope and pray that this is the week that he passes court and officially becomes a Grover. Dear Lord you have called and we have answered - let the time be now, please Lord bring them home.

what I'm learning - stress

Oh my goodness stress - I have to say that I never really understood what it feels like to be stressed out for a long period of time. Like everyone there has always been stress off and on in my life - but not day in and day out. It is sooooo exhausting. Each night I am so very ready for bed super early (which is totally not me!) Now I understand how my poor husband feels on a regular basis. YUCKY!!
So how to manage it is the question of the day?? Excercise? a new project around the house? a good book? crafts? what drives the stress monster away??

Waiting

Waiting is always a provoking topic on adoption boards - and for folks waiting for a referral well it is a challenge to wait well because what they are waiting for is for a family to fall apart, for a child to be orphaned - for disaster. That is the thing about adoption it is joy and sadness all in one package.

In our case the waiting is different. No one was lined up to adopt our kids, in fact they were waiting for us - for 2 long years in an orphanage waiting for us because thier birth parents had already passed away and extended family couldn't care for them. They have waited and waited and honestly I don't think they should have to wait anymore.

I am not a good waiter - seriously not. Of course in certian conditions I do okay - but these are not them. Waiting for someone else to find out what the heck is going on with Alemtsehaye's court decree, waiting for someone else to actually do the job they were supposed to have done this summer with Estifanos' paperwork, waiting for messages being relayed back and forth from ET to our agency contact, waiting for our own embassy (which is a seperate rant altogether) to tell us how they are going to comply with the new laws (which apparently they are considering not complying with - exactly how is that possible??) Waiting when I am not in control is driving me to my knees - which isn't a bad place to be. BUT seriously I am DONE!

Now the waiting of Advent I do well with - I enjoy the anticipation the holiday traditions and the wait well it really isn't very long. Did you know that prior to the birth of Christ there were no prophets in Israel for 400 years - God didn't speak to his people for 400 years leading up to the birth of His Son - that is a long wait ( and not the kind I am up for - just saying.)

Please Lord let it be soon! I could really really really use some good news this week.




Twas the night before Christmas and all through the land
there are parentless children, with no toys in hand
No stockings to be hung by the chimney with care
no hopes for a family soon to be there
Their beds are not snug--but cold and quite bare
there are no goodnight kisses--no one to care
While we in our homes, laughing in delight
all settle down for a Merry Christmas Eve night
When in some one's heart--there arises a clatter
there are children in need--who's lives really DO matter!
Away to the computer please go in a flash
to see the sweet face with whom YOU could be matched!
While a child you see--their beautiful face all aglow
could this be MY child--could I already know??
When in the dreams of the orphan--what always appears
is a family to love them, to care and hold dear
As you stare at that child--your heart beats real quick
--for you know in your heart that sweet face will stick
More dreams sweet children have--to call parents by name
-come mama! come daddy! come family to claim!
To the ends of the earth--your heart seems to call
now child--I'm coming--I wish for you ALL!
So on a plane to your child--over rooftops you flew
to hold this dear soul--a wish did come true
And then in a twinkling-I saw through the door
this child of my heart-that was waiting no more
As I got my camera and was turning around-into my arms did he come with a bound!
He was dressed in many layers from his head to his footand into my heart his life was just put
there was no round face--no plump little belly
just sad little eyes, and legs shaking like jelly
In a swirl of a pen, and a stamp and a seal
my world became brighter--like I could suddenly feel!
We spoke not a word--they weren't needed at all
and I knew in this moment where I got this call
God layed his hands on my heart--and to the occasion I roseand He could do it for you--this question He'll pose.....It won't be a shout--no not even a whistle
it won't be real clear--but faint like a whisper
Can you make room in your heart--if you try with your might?
And make a difference for one--help them see the light?
I can see you exclaim as you hold your child tight--Thank you Lord for this gift--you got it EXACTLY right!

the week

See when you are waiting in international adoption (at least for me) this is how it goes:

Sunday - you are thinking this will be the week - we will finally move foward.
Monday - still this will be the week
Tuesday - aarrgghhh it has to be the week - maybe I should email someone
Wednesday - still nothing - definately going to email someone
Thursday - email sent. no new info, really how long can this go on
Friday - tears another week over and no new info.
Saturday - next week has to be better

And then it starts all over again. OY! I'm totally burntout emotionally on this particular rollercoaster, I would dearly like to get off and begin riding the carousel.

Today

Today is World AIDS day

and

Today is the day I was supposed to meet our new daughter in Addis

I really didn't think it would be so hard to face today - but my heart is hurting with the longing to hold both of the new kids in my arms, kiss thier sweet faces and begin the process of getting to know them.....

Soon please.