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Friday, January 9, 2009

toddlers, sleep and attachment

Sleep - what all parents hope thier kiddos do for about 12 hours at night and maybe even a few years of naps!!! Of our 4 bio kids we only got 1 that was a good sleeper, which should have prepared us for some rough nights with Little Miss B. - but we are much older now and have really gotten used to our sleep!! B. has been home for almost 3 months now, came home at 2.5 years and sleep is settling into a predictable routine. Most nights we don't have any trouble getting her to sleep - primarly because she doesn't nap - which wouldn't work for everyone, but it fine for us! An interesting thing has happened recently - but let me back up and tell you about when she first came home. After the first week - when she was soooo tired and stressed out that she just conked out, getting her to sleep became a huge struggle. She could literally keep herself awake for more than an hour trying to control what was happening. She wanted to be incharge of where we sat or laid on the bed with her, whether or not she was rocked or walked or what ever. It became a huge power struggle - particularly with me and I began to dread bedtime. Then one day she missed her nap and bedtime that night went so well. She let us be in control and rock her and then put her in the bed with no struggle. Well that was it for me - no more naps. Now fast foward 2 months - and she hasn't napped in more than a month ( we did have the occasional nap here and there and then bed was a struggle again) yesterday she napped - but when it came time for bed there was no struggle. She needed to be rocked for a few more minutes than usual but she didn't try to control what was happening, she just melted into me and let sleep overtake her rather than fighting it - WOW what a gift. She is trusting us to care for her and make decisions for her - like when to go to bed. Attachement is a process - this just confirms for us that the process is happening on her side!!!

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