So today I was able to rejoice with a wonderful blog friend about the growing attachment with her son. She had been running the race and is on the wonderful downhill side. And while I am so very excited for her - it feels like the uphill battle we face is unending. sigh. I love Alem and am totally commited to her.. but it is so very very hard. She is difficult on her best days and horrid on her worst and often I wonder if things will ever ever change? Will she ever stop demanding all the attention be focused on her? will she ever stop trying to control my every waking moment? will she ever just relax and not worry about whether or not she has more than everyone else? will she ever stop acting like each bump is the end of the world? and on and on and on.....
I know that she has made tremendous progress she no longer keeps herself (and me) up all night. She no longer has raging fits every day, not even every week. She no longer tries to run away. She finally is eating healthy meals. She is nice to her brothers and sisters. She gets ready for school and church without a fuss.
Of course then just now she refused to come to the dinner table then flipped out because we prayed and began eating with out her - really?! I simply took her aside and said you may want to control when we all eat but it isn't going to work... we pray and eat when mom and dad sit down not when you finish playing. Ugh.
Tuesday, June 8, 2010
Envy
Posted by Bonnie at 5:10 PM
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3 comments:
You, too, will make that crest of the hill with Alem. You are good - my friend - thank you for sharing the hard in the good.
Oh Bonnie...I know your frustrations. The control thing has been especially wearing on us. I had to chuckle at your dinner time example because we too have experienced the exact same thing - too funny! And even though we still experience some of this behavior, what a great feeling to rejoice in how far we have come.
Last week Samson had a friend over (a 5 year old girl), I watched him tell her what to do and I was pleased to see that she did not comply many times=) This may sound terrible, but it was good for him to know that he can't have his way all the time, even with those outside of our family.
I wish we lived closer - I have much to learn from you - more than what we can convey to each other through our blogs and comments. If we lived closer, I would have you over for play dates all the time. It would be interesting to see how Alem and Samson would play together.
Hang in there! Your down hill run may be just around the corner. I know God chose you to parent Alem and that He will redeem your attachment as well.
I had not checked in almost 2 weeks...lots still going on. I will continue to pray for you. I know what it is to have very difficult days where the good ones are very hard and the hard days are horrific! I have one that was a runner as well and my hubby used to be gone for work traveling weeks at a time. I remember sitting on the floor in the laundry room crying, wondering how long this was going to last. Pleading with the Lord to change things. It is hard, too, because most would not understand.
Do not lose heart~you will get through it and you know God is good and He will bring it to pass. I wish I could lend a hand, bring a meal, clean your bathroom, give you a hug. I can lend you my ear and pray for strength and wisdom for you and for Alem that she would settle in and be able to trust and love and let others love her.
I appreciate you being real and sharing some of what is going on. Do not grow weary in doing good, for in due season you shall reap! Check out this family and their website. I am a facebook friend with her and they have gone through alot with Eden. http://www.blessingsfromethiopia.blogspot.com and http://www.blessingsfromethiopia.com
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