Soooooo last night our social worker came for a post placement visit. Which we didn't consider to be a big deal at all, so we didn't talk to Alemtsehay about it before hand. After all our social worker seems to be more like a friend and we didn't think Alem would even give any attention to her.
So she arrives and askes her questions and makes some notes, takes her pictures and leaves. For the most part Alem just ignores her - which is her coping stragety for strangers - so that is fine. She answers questions when asked and cuddles on my lap most of the time. Our SW leaves and it is obvious something is way wrong. Alem is verging on a meltdown the rest of the night.... finally when she is getting her PJ's on and crying about it , it all comes pouring out. Apparently after her parents died she went to her aunt's house and then one night an italian lady comes and askes her some questions, takes a few pictures and then the next day she goes to KM. UUGGHHH!! she never knew what was coming, and of course she thought it was happening all over again. Which just goes to show how far we have come and how far we have to go. Happily I was able to reassure her that she was my girl and not going anywhere - which I don't think she totally believed until this morning when everything was the same. And how far we have to go until she knows we are forever....
Wednesday, March 17, 2010
Last nights heartbreak
Posted by Bonnie at 3:43 PM
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6 comments:
Oh I can't imagine how scary that must have been for her!
How are things progressing with Estifanos?
Oh my heart :(
Oh Bon!! I know that one too well! When Shelle's caseworker would come to visit, she would keep her distance, as she was certain he would be taking her away too. Praying that Alem finds that she's home forever!!
OMG Bonnie, what a pure heartbreak for Alem. I can't even begin to imagine how she felt.
ugh. so hard isnt it? hard to see our sweet children so scared that we are going to leave them. our daughter had a dream last week that we took her to Ethiopia and left her there because she wasnt being "good enough". she woke in the morning literally crying, thinking it was real. painful. and she's been with us over a year now. hugs to you all as you work through this stuff together.
Bonnie,
We had our 1 month post placement visit last week, too and Aliya was so afraid. I had told her that a sw would be coming just to make sure things were going well. (And they were) When we pulled into the driveway and she saw the sw's car, she told me she wanted it gone. She wouldn't sit down with the sw, who is as non-threatening as they come, and instead sat at the computer and kept asking me to help her on the the computer. She acted so strangely, not at ALL like her normal, happy self.
I told the sw that it was obvious that she was afraid and that she normally didn't act this way.
Interesting, and sad that you had a similar experience. Good piece of advice...rehearse and go over what is going to happen at the visit and explain why it is necessary. Then reassure!
These poor, sweet girls.
We moms have so much to learn!!
Love,
Laura
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